Let's start by defining resilience:
It is the human capacity to face difficult situations, to know how to overcome and even to come out stronger and transformed by adverse experiences, with learning, without learning there is no resilience, there is luck, chance, probability, nothing else.
Such difficult situations can range from the loss of a loved one, a job, loss of self-confidence, difficulty in making decisions, pessimism about the future, loss of interest, promotions, excess information, lack of security, etc.
The true teaching of resilience is to generate a learning process to get out of such a difficult situation.
- What emotions are felt?
- What does that make you feel?
- What story or event explains the situation?
- What makes this memory active?
- What new experience do you need to erase the memory?
Resilience is the repair to a difficult situation, for this we can help us of the humor, optimism, a new purpose, be aware of our values, thank and celebrate what we have every day, generate different routines, so we will be more balanced before the uncertainty, more open to change, better support the pressure and commitment to the challenges, with greater confidence in ourselves.
For this we must, as a human being or group, promote self-knowledge and self-esteem, have an internal self-regulation and motivation, achieve flexibility, adaptability and an orientation to the achievement, the result, work the empathy.
Everything begins with knowing yourself, valuing yourself, accepting yourself as you are, with your strengths, weaknesses and always identifying your areas for improvement. Becoming the protagonist of your life and not a victim of circumstances.
Being aware of the attitude we want to have and transmitting it with introspection, seeking and knowing our purpose, objective, passion, vocation (be aware of your ikigai) and looking for the motivation and intrinsic strength that moves you.
Try to understand others, listen and support, not interpret and seek a constant balance.
Being proactive, establishing sides, increasing learning, having a passive attitude, or being aware is not resilience.
To do this we must be aware, and we must work on that awareness, training to be more aware, compassionate and calm in the face of our own suffering and that of others, so that we think more clearly, bringing greater help to ourselves or to others.
Carry out this series of practices to become more resilient:
- Put aside your need to feel loved, accepted and in control.
- Identify and live your values every day.
- You have the right to determine your own life and not be a victim.
- Remember one thing always, in the world we live in, change is constant.
- Change is difficult, but it forces you to continually improve.
- Attitude always makes a difference.
- Live in the present, don't live from the past, seek your purpose but don't live in the future.
You have to simulate learning scenarios based on your strengths and weaknesses in order to evolve and above all be "prepared". Prepared not for a specific scenario, because you can't predict or guess the specific scenario, but the process of unlearning and learning again to improve and come out stronger.
So if you develop the capacity of resilience so necessary, with learning, without learning there is no resilience, there is luck, chance, probability, nothing else.
